Four Common Concerns That Cross-Dressers Think About a Lot

Each cross-dresser is unique in both appearance and personality. But all of our sisters go through similar struggles. Each one of us has a specific experience with cross-dressing. But we come across some doubts and concerns that others also have all the time. Sometimes, it leads to insecurities that prevent you from ever dressing up again.

Because of that, I’ve gathered some common thoughts that insecure cross-dressers have quite often. My goal is to explain those feelings and how we can get rid of them. This way, I can help you and the rest of our sisters to overcome this situation. So if you happen to be struggling with these concerns, make sure you stay and read my descriptions!

1. Am I feminine enough?

This had to be the number 1 issue on our list, didn’t it? Cross-dressing, for us, is all about looking feminine, and failing to do so is a fear that haunts many of our sisters. With that in mind, questioning your own femininity is a rather common yet understandable concern. But with proper guidance, we can work your way out of it.

First, you must understand that femininity is a rather open concept itself. Just look around, and you’ll notice that women come in all shapes and sizes, with different features. Western beauty standards leave us with a face idea of what it means to be a woman, but you shouldn’t fall for this propaganda. Of course, a few things can give you away as a man, but they are often easier to hide or change. I’m speaking of those more obvious signs, such as beard, Adam’s apple, and genitals. As soon as cross-dressers hide them, they can qualify as feminine.

2. Should I be afraid of coming out?

For the vast majority of our sisters, their cross-dressing experience is still a secret. There are way too many taboos about gender expression, especially in conservative households. Gender studies and trans rights are relatively recent. So we must understand that misinformation and ignorance are still present in society. Hence, the fear of coming out is understandable.

The answer to this dilemma depends on many things related to your daily routine. If you rely too much on people who wouldn’t understand it or live it in an area with higher risks for trans people, I would not recommend it. Keep it a secret for now until you manage to move somewhere else. I say so because I care for our cross-dressing sisters and don’t want them being hurt for that.

Besides that, I also want to bring your attention to another thing. Staying safe and keeping it a secret for a while doesn’t mean that you should deny who you are. Discrimination is society’s problem, not yours. There’s nothing wrong with being queer or trans, so you shouldn’t blame yourself for anything that happens. Cross-dressers are just misunderstood by society, and our existence doesn’t harm others. So if you ever feel afraid of coming out, remember that you are not the one to be blamed.

3. How will other people react to my cross-dressing habits out there?

Even after coming out, some of us have insecurities regarding other people’s reactions. This is also a complicated situation, as we can never predict it. Before I went out for the first time en femme, I asked myself this question all the time. Some of us argue that this is the main source of insecurity for cross-dressers worldwide.

I used to think it was related to passability. I wasn’t completely wrong, to be honest, but it’s less intense than what I thought. It’s more about confidence and self-awareness, but you should expect a bit of discrimination depending on where you live. But the more confident you are, the less likely it is for people to discriminate against you.

If you want some extra encouragement, I recommend you interact with other cross-dressers and trans people on the internet. Hearing about their experience, and presenting femme to them, may help you build confidence. After a while, you’ll be able to go out, not caring about what other people think of you.

4. What is my gender identity?

Let’s suppose that you grew up learning that boys should behave and dress in a certain way. Only to grow up and realize that you like women’s clothes as well. It may leave you confused about your gender identity, which leads to this constant questioning. But to get an answer, you must understand how it works and break a few stereotypes.

First, keep in mind that clothes are genderless and that you can still be a cisgender man. It means that you still feel comfortable with your masculinity and gender. You just like to wear feminine clothes occasionally. However, if clothes aren’t enough, and you feel like you’d prefer to live as a woman, you might be transgender. With that information, we might conclude that you don’t need to be trans to cross-dress and that men can express their feminine side. So if you want a better view of your gender identity, consider other things. The last thing I want to add is that you can still be straight and a cross-dresser. That’s because gender identity and expression do not change sexual orientation.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and insecure once you start to cross-dress. The important thing is to keep learning as you progress, so take time to deal with your insecurities. These might be the four most common questions cross-dressers ask themselves, but I hope my explanation has served you well. Once you understand that, you may be able to progress into your journey and improve your experience. But if you do have any other question that you think is common among our sisters, let us know in the comments!

Quiz:

Of all these questions, which one do you think has the most significant impact on our experiences?

A. If we look feminine enough


B. If we should come out


C. How people will see us


D. About gender identity

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