Safety Measures for Crossdressers Meeting Online Dates


To choose the right potential partner as a crossdresser, you need to make sure you know them up close and personal. First dates are relatively nerve-wracking, but you can and should try to find out more about the person you may be seeing before the date. If they have social media profiles, check them out. You can also look at their likes and dislikes. Is there a specific post or comment they like? What kind of things are they into? What are their views on the crossdressing community? All of these information can determine whether or not you two are compatible.


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A suitable date should be fun, not a potential liability. One of the best ways to protect yourself from getting hurt is to stay in a public place, such as a coffee shop or walking in a park. Having a plan for the date, such as dinner or a movie, or when the date is ending, is good.


It’s always important to be careful when you’re going on a date. Whether you are meeting someone for the first time or have known them for a while, take precautions to ensure your safety. Most importantly, trust your gut; if you’re uncomfortable with a situation, try to de-escalate it or leave. Having a great time on your date is easy, so long as you follow these simple guidelines.



1. Scope their social media profiles


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Before going on a date, it is always a good idea to scope out their social media profiles. Doing this will give you an idea of what you’re getting yourself into before you actually go out with your potential lover. I recommend that you do some detective work on the person you’re interested in. After all, it’s just a safety precaution. By doing this, you’ll know whether or not they’re a creep or have any unsavory habits.


This will give you a sense of their personality, as well as if they are worth your time! Do they seem open and accessible? What do their friends have to say about them? Does it seem like they are motivated? Hardworking, lazy, or irresponsible? What are their views on crossdressing and the LGBTQ community? Answer these questions in your head before even committing to meeting up with them before you ultimately decide for yourself!



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Social media stalking can make you feel a little bit uncomfortable at times. But that’s what it’s there for—it helps to ensure the person you’re ready to date is real, not a “catfish.” It’s super important to date someone who is real and not a catfish. Realize that social media stalking each other is fine up to a certain point because it’s as necessary as protecting yourself. If you have mutual friends, they could prove handy on some occasions. This extra step can make all the difference! Ask your friend(s) about your potential date. This might give you an idea of whether what you have with each other can be taken further or not.


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2. Plan your date carefully


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It’s important to plan out your date carefully because you want to create an excellent first impression. This means showing up cross-dressed in proper attire and on time! Crossdressers know that there is nothing worse than showing up at a fancy restaurant and feeling underdressed. Also, don’t forget to plan the date with a specific place in mind. It’s best to meet your potential significant other in an open public space. Go out to a café, a movie theater, or maybe have an adventure walking around the city – whatever makes the two of you comfortable. You’ll want to make sure the atmosphere is right too, and it feels safe. When meeting a new person in person for the first time, pick somewhere you are comfortable and can easily leave if things go sour.


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As the date goes on, make sure you’re comfortable with the conversation and know how to handle awkward silences. Be respectful to your date. Although you might be tempted to give him or her the benefit of the doubt, don’t put yourself in a vulnerable situation with transportation. I recommend either getting into your own car or taking any form of public transportation. Make sure not to suggest or plan any house or apartment visits. If you should ever join someone in their home, make sure to wait until you have fully known their intentions.


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3. Stay on high alert on the date


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Just because someone has an alpha personality does not mean that they’re out to get you. Always keep your wits about yourself. It’s best to become upfront and tell that you’re a proud crossdresser. Either way, you may not know how they’ll act once they come to realize that. So, you should always keep in mind that it’s not impossible. Additionally, it would probably be best to stay on high alert at all times during your first meeting with them.


Don’t be afraid to get personal. Get to know about the person’s family, their siblings, and other information about their lives growing up. If he or she has sisters or close female family members, this could be a great sign. A person in touch with their feminine side may treat a crossdresser better. Plus, it gives you an idea that they are likely to respect and look after you as well as the relationship takes off.


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Personally, it’s a major red flag if someone loves guns or violent activities, or is extremely religious (unless you are as well). It just usually means they come from a conservative-minded family, which may make it harder for you to feel accepted and comfortable dating them.


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Also, a good way to start a conversation is by asking their opinion on topics such as feminism, gay rights, etc. As they respond, pay attention to their facial expressions, body language, and choice of words. Are they willing to openly discuss these subjects? After all, if you’re going to get involved with them, you need to know how they feel about such things, especially your crossdressing. If they seem uncomfortable talking about these with you or appear not interested in having an open-minded discussion, it could be best to move on to someone else.


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4. Decide your fate after the date


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Sometimes you’ll know when someone is wrong for you — it’ll feel like pulling teeth. If you have to force anything, call it off. This applies even if they may be attractive, intelligent, or funny. I always advise you to trust your gut when it comes to dating anyone new – especially if you want things with them to go further down the road. For us crossdressers, it’s just not simple. As I mentioned, be upfront from the get-go so as not to stress either one of you out later on down the road!


Let them know about your crossdresser status. If they respond positively to your disclosure or quietly walk away, don’t verbally offend or get aggressive. That’s a good sign! Sadly, some people aren’t going to understand your situation but don’t put yourself through an unnecessary amount of drama by trying to figure things out for too long. Cut ties as soon as possible!


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If a potential partner wants to learn more about you, they’ll be there to listen and have an open mind. They’ll help you feel like your most authentic self. Some indicators they could be a great partner can be that they have friends that are crossdressers too, open to the idea of crossdressing, are polite and have great manners, and show a genuine interest in learning more about you. You’ll be able to feel their genuine desire to understand you on a deeper level, including everything else that makes you who you are. You’ll be able to tell they want to know more than the surface-level details of your identity that make up who you are. Instead, they’ll connect with the parts of your identity you may not have even shared with others yet because it’s new for you too!




Being a crossdresser doesn’t mean we’re not the type who wants romantic attention. Dating helps give a better sense of the people we happen to attract romantically. We get to experience a wide range of personalities and learn about many different viewpoints. It allows us access to physical intimac. Also, it further educates us about what we do and don’t like about potential partners.


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It’s good to be picky because sometimes we don’t want to end up with someone who doesn’t interest us. Additionally, it is important not to let a failed relationship stop us from moving forward. Every person we encounter in life has something to teach us, no matter how brief it may be.


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